Stop taking things personally – it’s not all about you!

Posted by on Feb 23, 2016 in Life | 0 comments

Stop taking things personally – it’s not all about you!

My husband is a high school teacher so his time is spent dealing with adolescents, who as you can imagine are prone to giving a bit of attitude at times.

I overheard him talking about this with a colleague recently, discussing a particular student.  He said something that really resonated, that in his experience a student acted out for a reason – something might be going on at home, the student might be under a lot of stress about an upcoming assessment, in a fight with his best friend, having problems with his parents, the list goes on.

Ultimately whatever the reason is, it isn’t because that student is a “bad person”, and it definitely is not about the teacher.

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.

 

This is something I have touched on before, as understanding this totally changed my life.

I want to explore this concept further, what it means to live a life where you don’t take things personally.

When you stop taking things personally it doesn’t matter what people do or say, it has no affect on you.

This can be tricky, sometimes it really feels like it is about you, but it’s not!

Even if someone insults you directly, even if they say you are the worst person they have ever met, this is still a reflection of them and their experiences.  It doesn’t make it true, and will only hurt you if you let it by choosing to take it on board as reality.

Everyone has an opinion, we each have our own point of view and that is fine.

Taking things personally means assuming that everything is about us, when actually what someone says or does is about them.  We are all living in our own worlds.

Something I read recently that made me laugh was that we spend our 20s and 30s worried about what other people think, our 40s and 50s deciding we don’t care what other people think, and finally in our 60s and 70s we realise no-one was even thinking of us at all!

Taking things personally is a huge waste of time.  You will feel offended and defensive, and spend time with these negative emotions and why?  Because of what someone else said, when you have no context for why they said it.

Just as no-one knows what you are going through on any given day, you don’t know their full story either.

When someone says something hurtful they are probably dealing with some painful things themselves.

By taking things personally you are setting yourself up for suffering.

Know who you are and be responsible for your own thoughts and actions.  What others think of you is none of your business and should have no bearing on your life.

When you fully understand this and stop taking things personally it is impossible to be hurt by the comments of others, and that my friends is true bliss.

 

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