Speak up and say what you want

Posted by on Jan 2, 2015 in Life | 0 comments

Speak up and say what you want

I love that song Brave by Sara Bareilles, she sings “Say what you want to say… I want to see you be brave”.  Too often we bite our tongues when we should be true to ourselves and say what we are thinking.  I’m not encouraging anyone to be mean or nasty, I’m talking about when someone says something you don’t agree with, and you keep quiet out of fear that you might make things a bit awkward, or god forbid, create some silence.

 

drseuss

There is a saying that “you should be dying to have your mind changed”.  We are subjective creatures, it’s part of being human, and that’s what makes life interesting.  We should welcome discussion and different ideas.  Many times I have held a view, only to have someone come along and make me rethink it, and how good is that – that’s learning!

I believe in the importance of being able to voice your opinion.  The other day a friend was saying how it’s good that I am travelling now while I don’t have any kids, because that makes it impossible.  I thought about this statement, and about all the parents I knew living the expat life, and how that statement wasn’t correct at all.  There can be no doubt that it makes it harder when kids are involved, but it definitely isn’t impossible.

I could’ve said nothing and agreed, but I spoke up and said I didn’t agree, because if you really want to do something you’ll do it.  The person saying this also had a child, and I think in a way was perhaps using that as her own justification as well, so it became uncomfortable when I took that excuse away.  It’s easy to be full of excuses, I know because I used to be.

Another friend used to always comment how “lucky” I was to live at the beach in Sydney.  I eventually stopped her and explained that I wasn’t any more lucky than she was, that it had anything to do with luck, it was choices.  I had decided it was something I wanted, so I chose to pick up and move, to pay higher rent and make it happen.  There was nothing stopping her from doing the same thing.

We like having an excuse or “reason” for why we’re not doing what we really want, but in reality the only person we are cheating is ourselves.

A few years ago we were on holiday in Indonesia and one of our dive instructors told us he spent six months of the year being a dive instructor and six months being a snowboard instructor, because those were the things he loved doing.  We immediately gushed with the chorus of “you’re so lucky… I wish I could do something like that… we really want to live overseas…”, but he wasn’t taking it.

He called us out and said that if we really wanted to do something there was nothing stopping us from making it happen.  All of our reasons for not doing it or why it wasn’t a good time were nothing more than flimsy excuses we were clinging to as a way to justify staying in the (comfortable and predictable) life we were in.  We knew he was right, and it was so refreshing to have someone say it.

So next time say what you believe, you’ll feel better for being true to yourself and others will respect you.

 

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