Getting married? Don’t lose sight of what it’s about

Posted by on Feb 20, 2015 in Featured, Life | 1 comment

Getting married? Don’t lose sight of what it’s about

I got married last year, and it truly was one of the most special days of my life.  I will treasure the memories forever.  But during my “bride experience” and planning the wedding, I became somewhat disillusioned.

Here are some things we did to stay true to ourselves and not get too caught up in all the wedding hype.




My engagement ring was an old family ring, which I adore.  It’s not a typical engagement ring setting and it’s an emerald stone.  It seemed crazy to us to spend a tonne of money (that we could otherwise do so much with) on a ring.  I handmade Wayne’s ring in Bali, we took a three hour silver making class during which I made his ring, which ended up costing about 35 AUD.  That ring is more special to us than any ring I could have bought in a store.



Weddings can blow out in numbers without you even realising with the old “oh but if we invite A we have to invite B…”  We decided to lay some ground rules right from the start – we limited our guests to 50 people, no partners, no children, and no cousins.  It’s your day, don’t let people make you feel guilty!  People need to remember that it is an honour to be invited to a wedding.  We didn’t want people there who didn’t really know us, it would mean nothing to them to be there and mean nothing to us to have them there.



Let’s be honest, as beautiful as they may be, most wedding invitations end up in the trash contributing to landfill.  To be more environmentally friendly (not to mention save a fair amount of money) we simply sent out a pdf invite.  I always take a photo on my phone of wedding invites anyway so that I have the details handy, and figured this way people would have it readily available on their phones.  If you have any guests who aren’t on Facebook or email you can just print off a copy of the invite.


Social Media / Technology

During the wedding ceremony we had our celebrant ask that guests not use their phones / iPads / cameras to take photos.  We wanted everyone to be genuinely present and really there with us in the moment, not worrying about whether their picture turned out well or not, or busy uploading it to social media.  We were paying professionals whose job it was to capture the moment.



We didn’t have a wedding cake (cue shock and horror!)  In all seriousness people seemed really upset that we weren’t having a cake with cries of “but what will you cut?!”  Um… nothing?  Why do we need to cut anything – for a photo we will never look at?  This was just another thing we saw as something that society demanded we spend money on.  Before you get too worried we did have a delicious dessert made by our caterers that we had chosen and that we loved.  We thought that dessert was tastier than any wedding cake (and to be honest I never understood why you would have both wedding cake and dessert).



You’ll never feel small for not wanting to spend more than $2,000 on a dress until you’re getting married.  I went to a bridal store in Sydney called Savvy Brides that stock second hand or “preloved” dresses, and although I didn’t end up getting a second hand dress I tried on plenty and it didn’t bother me at all, I think it’s a really great idea.  They also have very reasonably priced new dresses, mine was by Australian designer Anna Campbell.



Our friend who is a talented photographer took our photos as a wedding gift to us.  She loved it so much that she has since started her own wedding photography business Snowflake Creations.




At the end of the day do what you want and don’t let anyone else make you feel bad about your choices – they can do what they want at their own wedding!  Choose what it is that is important to you, and put money towards those things.  For us that was having beautiful live music, having the day filmed, and enjoying good food.




Of course you want to make it special and have what you want, but remember that at the end of the day it’s about you and your partner making a commitment to each other, and sharing the beauty of that with those closest to you.  If you’re getting married for the right reasons, the material things don’t really matter.

One of my friends summed it up perfectly, after her wedding she told me that on the day things had gone wrong – the cake was decorated exactly the way she had asked for it not to be, the flowers in her bouquet weren’t what she wanted, but she said to me beaming; “You know what, I didn’t even care, I was just so happy that I was getting to marry him”.



One Comment

  1. Love it Em! So well said. xxxx

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